Message To My Ninth Grade Self

By: Maggy De Guzman

Musta ka na? Tagal na natin ‘di naguusap.

Would I go back to the first day of ninth grade and redo everything? No. Although, if I told you what I do, where I am, who I talk to or who I don’t, I’m sure you’ll be surprised, amazed or disappointed, and there is no issue with that. What I adore is that I never knew what was going to happen and yet the change I feared is the same I needed to embrace. Who I am now is completely different than who I was before.

Anong gagawin mo kung ayaw mo pa magpaalam pero kailangan na talaga?

Your friends will change. The people you once called your closest friends will no longer be that. Either you outgrow them, they outgrow you or the rest are no longer enjoyable to be around. There are people that you never expected to be close with–let alone on speaking terms, and there are people you were too quick to judge. You discover that there are classmates exclusively considered as classmates and nothing more. On the other hand, there are faces only to have been called memories. Although you should not feel bad about what happened between you two, you can only cherish what did happen. From talking about living together to not talking at all. Maybe it was for the best. At the end of the avenue we all have grown up in, it is divided into streets that part ways. These streets may meet or merge, some part once more, while other streets no longer meet at all.

Kahit ginawa mo lahat, minsan iiba pa rin yung kwento.

Senior high school strands are not set in stone. It will not dictate your college course or career. Even though you have planned and overstressed on every aspect of your future, there are still objectives bound to differ in terms of your past ideals. I remember telling myself how I would dedicate my entire being to HUMSS and a journalism major. It was final, locked — thinking nothing would change. I have news for you, past self. Every course you chose is management related. Your career choice right now is something you never saw yourself doing back then and has no relation with your current strand. Thinking of it now, I wish someone told you before not to stress over your future since it resolves itself and falls into place eventually. Use the footbridge, go slow.

Kailangan mo magbago, ‘wag kang mahiya dahil ang daming ‘di naganap dahil diyan.

Enjoy living now, must you be reminded though that you have to grow up eventually. If you live too much in the present, how will you have a future to live for? Let’s not be the ones that peaked in high school. Regardless, I am proud of you. You embraced change and growth. Though I do think about all of the opportunities that I missed out on due to being shy and afraid of failure. Take all of your opportunities now and as the days succeed. Nonetheless, order what you can, and do not overeat.

Lilipas ang taon at magkikita nalang tayo ng minsan minsan.

So, how can I call you my past? Years down the same avenue, we grew up together and we grew apart. Growth, change–the ideas we all feared and avoided devoured us eventually. In the future, once we revisit the closed down shopping mall at 11 PM, the family-owned burger shop resting by the gas station, the local convenience store–I hope you do not forget this avenue. Embrace change and growth since you’ll need it after you exit these school doors one last time.

ilang taon mula ngayon, nasaan na kaya tayo?

sana matupad ang mga pangarap natin, pero magkita nalang tayo kung kailan pwede.